Quotes and Session Recordings from the Players of Eldahar
I recently unearthed a few pages full of quips and quotes from players over the years. I have no idea where many of them are from or what relevance they bore to particular events but some are damn funny, if a little rude.
| From | Said to | Quote |
|---|---|---|
| DM | Party | DM - You hear a deep bassy bird noise. Alan - What, going 'Tweet Fucking Tweet' |
| Garik | Queen of the Mer Elves | Hey bitch, call of the fish! Followed shortly after by You fucking amphibian! |
| Kaine | Unknown | I don't give a flying fuck who you are! |
| Kaine | A Major | Whatho major! |
| Kaine | Unknown | You can wear that idea anally. |
| Paul | Unknown | Meet my special bastard ring of smell snaring. |
| Naritsu | Party | What are those big things that come out of the swamp and go 'blurg?' |
| Marcus | Ivor | Right it down Ive. |
| Elindor | Unknown | Dance you bastard! |
| Elindor | DM | I think I'll casually mention the Angarak invasion. |
| Elindor | Unknown | Prayer, what prayer? Oh any old prayer will do. |
| Marcus | Unknown | Look, just mellow out. |
| Marcus | DM | That's cheating! |
| Party | DM | Party - Undead! DM - Unstoppable! |
| Rat | Unknown | Vent your spleen! |
| Aduna | Unknown | In the name of salame the moon goddess. |
| Rat | Jon | Rat to Jon tactfully suggests that Jon goes screws a living donkey! |
| Jon | Marcus | Shut up Marcus or I'll eat your face. |
| Marcus | DM | I'm 'aving im. One rounder. He's a deady. |
| Naschu | Guildencrantz | Fuck off you stinking flesh eating ghoul. |
| Sebastian | Unknown | Get real you muppet. |
| Naschu | Unknown | Fuck off I'm looking at this staff. You wanker. |
| Mathias | Unknown | That is one craft...ty lady. |
| Alan | Unknown | Suck my penis you can't eat shit. |
| Simon as Jaspar | Unknown | Fuck you Manchu! |
| Manchu | Unknown | Oh, spotted Indians. |
| Paul | Ivor | Are we having a shag yet Ive? |
| Aduna | Unknown | His head's on a body! |
| Aduna | DM | My shoe has lost all of its horse. |
| Zombie | Laylak | I feel rotten. |
| Paul | Unknown | May Luna rot your fucking tongue. |
| DM | Party | The pebbles look up.... ???? |
| Calandra | Unknown | It's a blow'a'gram. |
| Simon | Party | That's unnatural that is. |
| Paul | DM | Hes gone lunatikic. |
| Yin | Unknown | You snot goblin little fuck pig. |
| Ross | Lady Mercy | You've got strong thighs Mercy. |
| Unknown | About Laylak | It's a scent int it? Lilac? |
| Aduna | Unknown | I represent femity. |
| Gray | About his holy rank | I'm an acaloid. |
| Gray | To Unknown | Unknown - What are you friend? Gray - I am me!!! Hee hee hee. |
| Unknown | Unknown | Hit it, it dies. |
| Aduna | About Skegrin | Shagrat! |
| Unknown | Unknown | It's a hemi-circle. |
| Alan | DM | Tweet! |
| Yainar | Unknown | What can we do to conquer the world today? |
| Yainar | Unknown | It's an updead unrising! |
| Unknown | Unknown | I feel like a multi-layered cake with jam in the middle. |
| Aduna | Unknown | He's been cabbagefied. |
| Unknown | Unknown | Feel my farticles. |
| Aduna | Unknown | Show me you stunty little caveman! |
| Unknown | Unknown | Servant, somebody find me a servant! |
| Hanna | Tim | Would someone as young as me lie? |
| Hanna | The magic helm | Hanna - Do you want a polish? Helm - Whatever turns you on. |
| Hanna | Korleth | I'm a little girl and I come from Midnight. |
| Unknown | Unknown | The spider that went wee. The squirrel that went yippee. |
| Unknown | Unknown | The chicken that went beserk. The weasal that went yikes. |
| Unknown | Unknown | Mushrooms? I grew em on a dead person. |
| Goruan | Unknown | Oh no, I've been telepathised. |
| Tim | Hanna | Tim - Small animals... Hanna - What? Children? |
| Paul | Playing Cthulu | It's Stumpianna Jones. |
| Steve | Unknown | I've been mind blonked. |
| Marcus | DM | It's pre-planned plep. |
| Unknown | About DM | Eee's done it again, ee's sidetracked. |
| Unknown | Unknown | You may be a knight to them, but you're fly shit to me. |
| Unknown | Unknown | The priestess, she say yeah! |
| Unknown | Unknown | You said you had a toss character. And you have! |
| DM | Party | You see pretty murials on the ceiling. |
| Goruan | To tree | I'll fucking burn you down! |
| Goruan | To sheep | Shut it shithead. Now then sheep, get a life. |
| Torran | About the Dagon? | He's got to be in the sea. Hmm. It's gonna take a while to search. |
| Torran | DM | Give it some yellow! |
| Torran | DM | I'm medistating. |
| Torran | DM | They're moving wongly. |
| Torran | DM | I'm hoofing it! |
| Torran | DM | Put a hinge in his head. |
| Torran | DM | It's the onion-lands. |
| Torran | DM | This is how it work. It is true. |
| Pride | DM | I'm God! |
| Pride | Saga | You wily ole bastard. |
| Pride | Unknown | She's nutty as a nut tree. |
| Gray | Alyx | It isn't over until the fat lady sings. Later that day... Alyx, the fat lady has sung. |
| Pride | About a mare | I've found my slot in life. |
| Pride | Unknown | Was it sleeping? Or purple? |
| Pride | Unknown | Ranged tonsil attack. |
| Pride | Unknown | A stallion's not meant to be floppy like that. |
If anyone can remember any that I haven't, please let me know and I'll add it to the list. Thanks.
Session Recordings
I am currently in the process of transferring old cassette tapes from over 20 years ago to mp3. The quality isn't great with a lot of hiss and god knows why anyone who hasn't played in Eldahar before would ever want to download them as there's not even much roleplaying, but they're here anyway.
Below are streaming buttons and actual links to download the files. You have been warned.
I'd say enjoy, but listening to them just makes me cringe.
The Temple of Elemental Evil Campaign
These are two previously edited cassette rips of Temple of Elemental Evil and two unedited ones.
They are very hissy but when I tried de-noising the voices seriously distorted so I left it pretty much as is.
I added a bit of music to the beginning and end of part 1 - just for fun. Not sure if it'll stay, but for the moment you can skip it if you want.
A count was conducted at one point through TOEE. Over 40 player characters and npc's had died throughout the campaign when the list was compiled.
Pretty much everyone I knew played in the campaign at some point or other.
I organised a one off TOEE reunion session one Saturday where deceased characters were brought mysteriously back to life by the various Elemental Plane Lords. The actual plot for the day was pretty dire and totally winged, but it was great getting so many people around the round table for one last laugh.
| Title | Stream | Download |
|---|---|---|
| TOEE Part 1 | Click to download 115mb | |
| TOEE Part 2 | Click to download 110mb | |
| TOEE Part 3 - Unedited | Click to download 110mb | |
| TOEE Part 4 - Unedited | Click to download 74mb |
The Last Stand Campaign
Basically this was a fantasy take on the Magnificent 7 where quite uncaring heroes were recruited to protect a village under attack from tons of bandits.The village was called
| Title | Stream | Download |
|---|---|---|
| TLS Part 1 | Click to download 111mb | |
| TLS Part 2 | Click to download 111mb | |
| TLS Part 3 | Click to download 110mb | |
| TLS Part 4 | Click to download 111mb | |
| TLS Part 5 | Click to download 111mb | |
| TLS Part 6 | Click to download 111mb | |
| TLS Part 6 | Click to download 111mb |
Unknown Sessions
This is where I've been lazy and haven't bothered to scratch my head for hours trying to figure out who is playing and what.
| Title | Stream | Download |
|---|---|---|
| Unknown Session 1 | Click to download 111mb | |
| Unknown Session 2 | Click to download 111mb |